Patience

So I've decided I have none...patience I mean. Everyday, in all the things I do I see my impatience with the results I want in life. My lack of patience manifests itself boldly and very apparently in my dating life. I've noticed that I always want to know whether things are going to work out or not very quickly. It's not a conscious thing, but it's still very well and alive. I think a lot of it has to do with fear and control. When I decide that I could maybe like a guy I want to spend a ton of time with him right away so that I can figure out if I really like him. This makes it hard for those laidback guys who just wanna take their time and "go with the flow" as one guy put it. I think it has to do with the fact that I hate playing the fool. I don't want to start liking someone if they're not liking me. When I figure it out quickly that they're not interested, I can just move on. However, when they want me to be patient and see, all that while I am probably starting to like them while they are figuring out they don't like me. I hate being in this place, but with any guy that's ever been worth dating, this seems to be the end result. Beyond guys, even when something exciting happens in my life, I want to know where this will lead, what will happen. Pretty much even though I think I am good at enjoying the moment, I can't help but look too far ahead. It's a gift and a curse, as most things in life are. So my new goal...work on the patience thing. I want to try to take things more in stride and along with having patience, not dwelling on my setbacks. I think the failures or disappointments that occur may be, in part, a reason why I feel the need to discover things so quickly. Maybe if the failures didn't affect me so much, if I could just let them go, I could learn to be a little more patient and know if something happens it happens...and that's okay.