Helping

I saw The Blind Side last night. First of all, it was an amazing and inspiring movie! Although I didn't shed any tears, I felt there were many moments when I could have. As I watched the end of the movie I thought to myself, "What makes someone do something good, or even do the right thing?" Whenever I hear or see great acts of kindness, or courage, or really any admirable quality, I always wonder if I would have enough of whatever I need to demonstrate those qualities that I always admire in others. Basically, do I have what it takes to be the type of person I want to be? Hmmm...do I? Do you?

Patience

So I've decided I have none...patience I mean. Everyday, in all the things I do I see my impatience with the results I want in life. My lack of patience manifests itself boldly and very apparently in my dating life. I've noticed that I always want to know whether things are going to work out or not very quickly. It's not a conscious thing, but it's still very well and alive. I think a lot of it has to do with fear and control. When I decide that I could maybe like a guy I want to spend a ton of time with him right away so that I can figure out if I really like him. This makes it hard for those laidback guys who just wanna take their time and "go with the flow" as one guy put it. I think it has to do with the fact that I hate playing the fool. I don't want to start liking someone if they're not liking me. When I figure it out quickly that they're not interested, I can just move on. However, when they want me to be patient and see, all that while I am probably starting to like them while they are figuring out they don't like me. I hate being in this place, but with any guy that's ever been worth dating, this seems to be the end result. Beyond guys, even when something exciting happens in my life, I want to know where this will lead, what will happen. Pretty much even though I think I am good at enjoying the moment, I can't help but look too far ahead. It's a gift and a curse, as most things in life are. So my new goal...work on the patience thing. I want to try to take things more in stride and along with having patience, not dwelling on my setbacks. I think the failures or disappointments that occur may be, in part, a reason why I feel the need to discover things so quickly. Maybe if the failures didn't affect me so much, if I could just let them go, I could learn to be a little more patient and know if something happens it happens...and that's okay.

Late Night Craziness/Movie Review: New Moon (Twilight Series)

Okay, for all of you who have seen this movie I'm sure your opinion is likely to be much different than mine. On Thursday, November 29th I got a call from my friend Katie around 9:15 pm. She said she found a theater in Magna selling tickets for six dollars for a 2:45 am showing. So they were worried there was actually going to be a line. We got there about 1:20 in the morning. Since we had some time to kill and there wasn't a line, we went to IHOP. We met this cool waitress Tawny who was awesome and we found out works the graveyard shift like everyday. She was awesome! Great service! Then we went to the movie and I fell asleep for only a little bit of it. It was hard to stay awake around 4 am. The movie ended about 5 and I got home at 5:23 am. I slept until 6:45 and went to work. In total, I slept 3 hours that day. Was it worth it? Well let me tell you bout the movie now...The graphics were truly amazing! The werewolves were my favorite by far because they looked so huge and real...well, as real as a huge werewolf can look. As with Twilight, and any other book turned into movie, there were a lot of details removed to attempt to fit the entire storyline. The acting wasn't the best. Even though I liked all the actors, it all seemed a little fake, but they may have to do with trying to turn a fantasy story into a reality on screen. Jacob fans can be satisfied that he truly looks great in this movie, how could Bella resist. But for us Edward fans I am a little frustrated that Jacob is more attractive on screen then Edward because let's face it, Edward is the love of Bella's life and that's who she is destined to be with. I thought overall, it was a decent movie. Nothing great, but fun to continue to follow the Twilight movies and all the hype as well. All in all, I recommend everyone see it for yourself. There's just too biases and opinions that some will love it, some will hate it, and others like me will think it's just okay.

I am what I am

On Sunday, a member of the high council spoke in sacrament meeting. He quoted someone by saying, "I am what I am, and that is what I am." I honestly can't remember who said it first, but I thought a lot about this statement. This is kind of how I feel about life right now. Although I know change is important and inevitable, I like the idea of being so content with who I am that I can say, "I am what I am, and that is what I am." There's just this feeling of complete confidence in that statement. It represents the idea of living a life without apologies, but also without excuses. Now that's what I call a life. :-)

My Job

Okay, for those who don't know already, I finally found a job! I work for a company called School Improvement Network. I've been here just over two days and honestly, I love my job. I am a receptionist so I answer the phone, file things, and I'm sure will be doing more, but for now I'm content with it for sure. I still have a lot of learning to do. It's true that sometimes you don't know what you got til it's gone. Yesterday, I caught myself telling a friend how much I love working. It's not so much the work itself, although I do like being a receptionist, but it's more the satisfaction that comes from accomplishing something each day. When I was a student, my job always came second to school; it was just money. Now, my job can be my focus and as much as I try to multitask let's face it, I like being able to focus on one thing even better. :-) I know this post isn't too exciting, but it is what it is.

Poem: Broken Glass

I had the idea for a poem about a week ago or so and this is what came of it. By request, I am posting it here:


Crooked lines that flow and crack like glass,
sharp edges chiseled into a perfect pattern.
Were these just my lines,
or were they everyone's lines?


Once the glass is broken,
pieces are scattered in disarray.
Moments lie as delicate fragments,
and no one looks at them the way I do.


These pieces are my life.
How do I let go without losing one?
How do I put the pieces back together,
and make the cracks disappear?


Blood drips from my hands
in my attempt to save the broken glass.
Maybe glass is too fragile,
and maybe my hands weren't meant to mend this kind of break.


It seems there are more questions than answers.
But maybe only the hands that have truly bled,
only the hands that have truly mended,
maybe only these hands can truly fix the fragile broken glass.
Only His hands can fill the cracks.

Movie Review: Amelia

An inspiring, yet truthful account of a woman who never thought, "I can't." Hilary Swank offers another award-winning performance. I didn't know a lot about Amelia Earhart before seeing the movie, except that she was never found. I was inspired by her story. In the movie she leads a seemingly fearless life. Her zeal for conquering the unconquerable and realizing dreams instills hope and motivation that anyone, with enough desire and work, can conquer the unconquerable and realize his or her own dreams. Although Amelia is a figure I think we all can admire, she doesn't live without her own flaws. This movie demonstrates the good and the bad, but anyone who has seen the movie I think would agree with me that there is, by far, more good than bad.