Words That Came to Mind

Last Thursday I was just thinking about life. Mostly why it is the way it is and how to keep pushing on. I just started writing my thoughts down in a sort of stream of consciousness way and didn't think twice about what I was writing, which I guess could be kind of dangerous. Haha. Anyway, when I read it I realized it was kind of advice to myself, or I guess a cheesy expression of hope in life. So I thought I would share. :)

Live the unapologetic life.
Learn the ways of truth.
Listen to hear the heartbeat slow down then speed up.
Move over or move in to what life has to offer.
Sing your own song.
And don't look back.
Laugh if you want to and give in a little more when tears threaten to break your walls.
Hold on to the hope and give all that you have.
And at the end of the day, just let go.

Let Me Know or Let Me Go

The subject of this post has become my new motto. I came up with this one day when I was texting my friend about my frustrations with dating. Sometimes I get to the point where I feel like I'm at a standstill and no one is making a move. At this point I feel like saying, "let me know or let me go." Lol. Of course by the time I get to this standstill with anyone I'm probably already letting go.

Patience. I'm working on it. Lol.

Hopeful vs. Hopeless

Webster describes the word hopeful as:
1 : having qualities which inspire hope

2 : full of hope : inclined to hope

And hopeless as:
1 a : having no expectation of good or success : despairing b : not susceptible to remedy or cure c : incapable of redemption or improvement

2 a : giving no ground for hope : desperate b : incapable of solution, management, or accomplishment : impossible

Today I used the phrase "less hopeful" and I wondered what that really means. I looked for meanings of that phrase is both the words hopeful and hopeless. I've decided it has to be in some middle ground. So I'm curious--does anyone know what I'm talking about? That feeling when it's not that you've lost all hope or feel that things are "impossible" but a feeling where "full of hope" seems like a distant memory.

A Writer

I have always had a love for words and for writing, but a lot of the time I find myself doubting any sort of writing ability I might have.  I have asked myself time and time again: what makes a writer a good writer? Anyone can put words on a page, but what makes them good? Yesterday was no different. As I was considering my future, especially in my new marketing position at work I asked myself, what is going to make me a good writer or what makes me a good writer now? Every time I ask myself this question I am reminded of one pivotal statement I heard in the movie Sister Act 2:

I went to my mother.

who gave me this book...

called Letters To A Young Poet.
Rainer Maria Rilke.
He's a fabulous writer.
A fellow used to write to him and say:

"I want to be a writer. Please read my stuff."

And Rilke says to this guy:

"Don't ask me about being a writer.

lf. When you wake up in the morning.

you can think of nothing but writing...

then you're a writer."

I don't know if all I think about when I wake up is writing, but every day I think of millions of things I want to write about-mostly just thoughts I feel should be recorded, yet I never have the time to actually write them down. So, am I a writer?...

4th of July

For the 4th of July I spent the weekend with my family at a condo in Park City. My brother David and his wife had some trouble getting here because of Hurricane Alex, but they finally arrived about 14 hours after the time they were supposed to arrive. We watched fireworks, learned that I need to learn how to BBQ and played a mean game of family soccer, where I remembered how much worse I've gotten since playing in high school. Overall, it was good to get some family time in. :) Especially since I don't know when I'll see David and Brandy again since they live all the way in Mississippi.

P.S. One of my favorite things was watching my mom get hooked to 24 and watch at least 10 hours worth=10 episodes. It's an interesting show, but you can't make me wait that many episodes to find out what happens-whatever happened to resolving the problem by the end of the episode?

Rescue Party 2010

On Thursday night I traveled to Wyoming to visit Martin's Cove, to walk where the pioneers walked. To start off our journey everyone drove faster than us and we got way lost and didn't arrive until 2 a.m. Not my favorite beginning, but things worked out. Friday was a blast full of awkward tan lines, sweetwater crossing, and stories that would touch anyone's spirit. I met lots of new people and had a blast. As much fun as it was, I was so ready to come home on Saturday and shower. So here's a little taste of Martin's Cove. These are some of the fun people I met and hung out with. :)

I loved the looks on the faces of these monuments. The man's desperation and courage-amazing-probably one of my favorite memorial piece I saw.

To say

It's been a long time, it seems like, since I last posted anything. I guess it's because I tell myself I don't really have anything important or interesting to write. Tonight I decided to write anyway.

I thought to myself today, "I wonder if anyone besides my brother and one of my best friends will ever really understand me." I've thought a lot about what it means to love people for who they really are. I've thought about the contradiction between wanting to help someone be better because you can see their potential and leaving them exactly the way you met them because that's supposedly just who they are. I guess I agree with the former rather than the latter. It's nights like these when I'm home alone just sitting with my computer and my music that my mind wanders and contemplates well pretty much a whole lot about the intracacies of life.

I was reminded today that I want to be a somebody and I wanna really do something with my life. Now all I have to do is figure out HOW. But until then I'm gonna get some sleep. Maybe when I have more energy I can figure out how to live out my dreams...maybe. :)